Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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