the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
