So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
