Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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