Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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