The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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