Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
