Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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