dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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