Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
