Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, beer. Big fan.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
