and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
