Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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