i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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