Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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