The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
