For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
