I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
