let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
