I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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