That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
