like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I AM VODKA MAN
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
