i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
