dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
