woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
This house was built for laser tag.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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