i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
