You're my little dorito
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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