White coat. Heels.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
