Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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