tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
