Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
