True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
