If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
