the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I could fuck to npr.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
