I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
