it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize