I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
