If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
