the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
