His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
