I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
