I'm lost and stupid without you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
