i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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