I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
