Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
