with your own penis?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
