Whod you bang
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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