she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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