you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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