Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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