I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
