you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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