so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize