Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
