Can Purell be used as lube?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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