i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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