if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
