so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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