erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
