You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
