If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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